The Tantrum Survival Course
Part Two
Back to Part 1 Go to Part 3
Welcome to part 2 of the Tantrum Survival Course. What is it? A completely free four-part course to help you and your toddler get through the festive period with the minimum of stress and conflict. If you are a Toddleractive Tips subscriber, you'll get each part emailed to you everyday. Subscribe here or alternatively get daily updates when you follow me on Twitter.
The First Rule Of Toddler TantrumsIn Part 1 we looked at situations like Christmas which mean that extra problems are more likely to crop up with toddler tantrums. Your child is likely to be more restless and excitable, and you are unfortunately more likely to have a shorter fuse.Today I want to talk about the first rule of dealing with tantrums – the most important one, the one that is hardest to stick to at Christmas. I am going to help you stick to it! There are 2 types of tantrum – pure frustration and Want My Own Way (WMOW) tantrums. Pure frustraton = I can’t reach the table to get my book. WMOW = I want another cake and you’re stopping me. Aaargh! If your child’s having a WMOW meltdown, you must always follow the first rule of toddler tantrums: Don't Give InIt’s just really important – because once your child knows that they can win as long as they nag nag nag 40 times, they will do it again. (The toddler boredom threshold is so high they it can be seen from space, along with the Great Wall of China!)We all know we should never give in to tantrums, but it is incredibly difficult if you’re in the middle of Christmas dinner/a nice glass of wine, or Aunty Edna is trying to watch the Queen’s speech. So…what do you do? How do you stop yourself caving into your toddler’s demands without ruining everyone’s day? The answer is to have a variety of responses up your sleeve. 2 examples:
TLCTLC (tender loving care) doesn’t work all the time, but you’d be surprised how often it does.
There is nothing wrong with being affectionate to a tantruming child, however outrageously they are behaving. Because – get this – sometimes a hug can be the thing that puts a brake on the outburst.If you interrupt your child and wrap them in a big bear hug and say ‘You’re sad/cross, aren’t you?’ you may well find they collapse into your shoulder, relieved that you can express their feelings for them. You are not pandering to them because you haven’t given in. This is not about who ‘wins’ anyway.
Distraction Toddlers have such short attention spans that it is surprisingly easy to make them forget their tantrum.Distraction is probably the most effective way to deal with a tantrum, and part 3 goes into more details about this.
Today's Action Steps1. Try out using TLC the next time your toddler has a WMOW tantrum, even if it doesn’t feel right. You won’t know until you give it a go!
2. In preparation for part 3 of The Tantrum Survival Course, think about your toddler’s last tantrum. How could you have used distraction – or used it better?
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In Part 3...In part 3I will go into more detail about distraction in Part 3, when I'll be talking about the 2 vital things to remember when you're distracting any tantruming toddler.
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