The Tantrum Survival Course

Part 4

Today is the last part of your Tantrum Survival Course, and we end on a happy note - how not to be the perfect parent.

In part 3, we looked at distraction: how you don't need to promise your toddler the earth to distract her from any tantrum.

Having a variety of tricks up your sleeve is far more important for toddler rage diversion.

How Not To Be The Perfect Parent

Perfect parents don’t exist, just as perfect children are just a pipe dream (and how boring would they be, eh?)

In many areas of life it’s often true that you should aim for perfection, even if you never get there.

When it comes to tantrums, I TOTALLY DISAGREE.

Why?

Because your toddler is a person, not a project to make progress with.

Because parenting today is a job description with a 101 different skills.

But most importantly, because tantrums actually serve a useful purpose.

Eh?

Tantrums are a good thing? Surely that’s some spelling error?

No error. Toddler meltdowns help children cope with the new and powerful emotions that often overwhelm them at this age. It’s like practising for their swimming badge, except this the emotional self control badge…and believe me, it takes a lot of practise (I know some adults who still haven’t got theirs!).

So the point is: don’t try to stamp out tantrums completely.

Tips 27 & 28 in 30 Tantrum Tips explain more about what this actually means in practice, but for now I’ll leave you with your final action step...

Today's Action Step

Next time you get into conflict with your child, draw a line under the episode (however you dealt with it) and have some special time together.

There's no better way to beat resentment than by playing a funny game together.

Help! I Don't Know Any Good Games If you're stuck for ideas you can use any of the 15 quick tantrum fixes from 30 Tantrum Tips as games in their own right. In fact this is probably a good idea, so your child gets to know how each game works. Then when you use any one to interrupt a meltdown, he'll know how to play straight away. All of these quick fixes are very simple and involve everyday objects, like: a teddy or dolly a ball a rattle post its a raisin I guarantee that you will find at least 2 or 3 ideas here that will work for your toddler. And when I say 'guarantee', I really do mean it... as in 100% money-back guarantee!

I love how 30 Tantrum Tips includes lots of spontaneous playful ideas to show that life is fun rather than leaving the focus on the difficult aspects of the tantrums...more Helen Dubai Counsellor and Parenting Educator, mother of 4, grandmother and editor of www.consistent-parenting-advice.com

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