Disciplining Your Child Under 4
Practical Tips For Real-Life Parents
This page answers the age-old question of disciplining your child. It is targetted at helping toddlers improve their behaviour, but many of the ideas apply to preschoolers. Dealing with behaviour problems in children under 4 years old requires some specific strategies - toddlers often operate according to their own unique logic. The upside of this is that a lot of toddler behaviour is very predictable and there are many things you can do to nip problems in the bud before they kick in. Visit
the section on tantrums
for specific advice on toddler outbursts.
Prevention Is Better than Cure
Preventing behaviour problems
has some useful ideas and strategies about solving problems before they come to a head.But let's be realistic. However hard you try, it’s not always possible to minimise toddler behaviour problems. Children of this age will always test your limits as their sense of self and desire for independence grows apace. It's a natural part of being a toddler. Here are some practical tips on disciplining toddlers:
Level With Your Toddler
You cannot even begin to discipline toddlers if they can’t hear or see you properly. When talking to your little one, crouch or sit down so you are face to face. This ensures she can understand what you want her to do – disciplining your child is impossible if she can’t actually hear you.
Tone Of Voice & Facial Expression
How you look at and speak to your toddler when reprimanding him is important. Christopher Green (amongst others) talks about the importance of confident parenting, and a no-nonsense look (eyebrows raised, pursed lips) conveys this very well. Lowering your voice alerts your toddler to the fact that something is wrong – it also helps you to calm down and feel more in control. The combination of a look that takes no prisoners with a quiet voice is far more effective than shouting ever will be.
It’s The Way You Tell ‘Em
Toddlers’ limited language means that sentences like ‘Stop that now!’ are probably meaningless.
Using language to tackle behaviour problems
explains how the way you speak to your child has an effect on their behaviour – it’s more than just a case of not shouting.
Return from Disciplining Your Child to Toddler Discipline

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