Dealing With Temper Tantrums
Part I
Successfully dealing with temper tantrums is not always easy, especially when you are tired and stressed. You will never stamp them out. But you can reduce how often and how bad they are.
This is the process for dealing with any toddler tantrum:
1. Decide What Sort Of Tantrum It Is
There are 2 basic types of toddler tantrum:
The Frustration Tantrum is a result of something the child is doing (or rather failing to do!) himself – trying to do a difficult jigsaw or spilling his drink down his T-shirt.
The Want My Own Way Tantrum happens when he is restrained from doing what he wants by someone else – having a sharp stick taken off him or being strapped into a car seat.
2. Decide What The Toddler Has To Gain From This Tantrum
With a Frustration tantrum, the child has nothing to gain - he is purely letting off steam. Follow the tips given below.
With a Want My Own Way tantrum, the toddler wants to do just that: get their own way and regain control. There are various strategies for coping here. Go to
Dealing With Temper Tantrums Part II
for advice on this.
Dealing With Frustration Tantrums
There are various strategies for dealing with temper tantrums of this kind:Help the child solve the problem – if appropriate. Put the jigsaw piece in the right place, get his drink down from the table or sit him in the highchair he was so valiantly attempting to scale.
Offer a cuddle - this may or may not be accepted. If not, move on and try another tack.
Try to express the toddler’s feelings for her. Saying for example ‘you’re sad about spilling your drink, aren’t you?’ may remove a lot of the frustration caused by not being able to explain the cause of her woes. These troubles are hugely important to her, and it feels good to know that you’re taking them seriously too. This tactic had a very calming effect on my toddler when his language was in the primitive stage.
Distraction - is a very effective strategy because toddlers have such a short attention span.
It is much easier than you might think to divert their attention from the crying fit.
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